Late Night Ramblings

[2003-06-22] @ [1:27 a.m.]

�Long lost words whisper slowly to me, still can't find what keeps me here.�

I find it that it very hard to keep a calm around the world when I�m so paranoid about everyone and everything. I sometimes find it extremely hard to deal with this type of thing these days� I wish I could deal with it but I can�t. I am nervous wreck because of this. I mean, look at me know, I�m up because of it and it is 1:12 AM where I am and I�m not even asleep.

I can�t sleep because the whole idea of me being paranoid is what keeps me up.

It�s been going on for the past month or so� me and losing sleep. It�s actually nothing new really� I guess it started back in May or somewhere back there. The day the world turned against me or I begin to become to concerned for to many things. It could be the fact that it reminds me that I have two years of high school left and I�m not sure I can handle it.

That opens up a whole new realm of question that I will address at a later date. It'll just be opening up a huge can of worms.

I just wish I could get away from all of this in my mind. I write to escape. But I just haven�t been writing at all lately completely. I need to complete stupid AP assignments and that just the takes the whole fun out of writing my writing. If I can�t write, I can�t escape exactly. *Rests head within her hands.* Life is becoming overwhelming to me all to quickly. I wish I could just keep everything simple so that one, I could sleep and two, not everything would exactly be take seriously. Um, I�m going to work on my fic and get some hot tea. Tea is one thing that I know that can help me sleep.

To re-ask myself a question. What still keeps me here? I mean that question of the being of my state of mind. Right now my mind is chaotic and crazy with everything that goes on in my head. I hate it. *SHUT UP BRAIN!*

What keeps me here, I don�t even know.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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