set me free

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[2003-07-15] @ [9:59 p.m.]

Here's part of a story tonight I've been working on. I can't think of anything to write.


Wrapped up in the blue, soft sheets, she lies in bed, her arms folded causally across her chest, as she stares at the ceiling. All is quiet through out her small city apartment. All that can be heard is the occasional car passing below in the streets. She cannot sleep; she hasn’t been able to sleep for sometime. She props herself upon her elbows and glances at the clock. The red, giant numbers glow brightly and pierce the dim light from the nightstand light.


She turns her attention back to staring at the ceiling. Immediately, everything else disappears as her mind overwhelms her with the raw emotion of pain.

This is never ending… these nights. She never sleeps anymore; she is trapped in an endless the loop of pain. Every time she attempts to close her eyes and try to escape the pain into her own world, she can’t. Something powerful keeps her bound to the present, something that is unbreakable.

She closes her eyes briefly, only for a second. The raw emotion rushes at her and swallows her like an alligator swallowing with its prey. Once again, her eyes shoot open. No longer does she feel comfortable in her own bed. Every muscle in her body aches with the mental pain she experiences.

The woman forces herself up sitting on the edge of her bed, her head resting in her hands. All she can hear is her own heart. She can’t sleep. It seems to the poor soul will never be able to escape it all, even if it was a brief reprieve from it all. She’ll never escape.

“Life goes on,” she whispered to herself, “everything eventually must pass. My only hope is that this will also.”

With the next night, she was unable to sleep again. It was reaching near midnight. The street below was nothing but a mere shrill in her ear. She closed her eyes and turned over on her side on the couch. She slowly was slipping into her own world but immediately being brought back by a phone ringing.

Often, she would let the answering machine pick it up. Though this time, something told her to pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“Erin?” a male voice called. “Asleep?”

She turned onto her back and a small smile crossed her features. “Jordan, you know I never sleep.” Erin was so glad to hear his voice.

“That is why I called…”

“Because I don’t sleep?”

“Besides that and let me finish! I cannot sleep either this evening. I was hoping you would want to do something with this evening,” Jordan started. “Perhaps just go for a car ride out or go out into the country. There is suppose to be a lunar eclipse this evening.”

She thought for a second and replied, “When can you be here?” Erin quietly walked to the window and below at the street. She saw Jordan’s red car and him standing on the hood with cell phone in hand. Jordan looked up to the window and smiled. “Let me get my jacket. I’ll be right down.”


Jordan and Erin drove in silence. She kept the window rolled down and her hand out the window. No one was on the country road except them. Jordan had the radio blazing with the rock music playing.

Erin closed her eyes feeling the cold wind blow up around her. Her hand was growing especially cold, trying even harder to pump the blood to stay warm. Her hair whipped around her head. Jordan looked to her. "Aren't you cold, Erin?" he asked softly.

"Not much. It is actually helping me stay awake. There is just something about cold air that seems refreshing," she replied. "Where are we going?"

"Ah. That's a surprise. We still have a long ways to go. Why don't you put something easier in?"

She took out the rock CD and placed something softer in instead. Relaxing into the seat, she stared at the stars with the soft mixture of violin and cello playing in the background.

The stars had always meant something to Erin. Maybe it had been the many nights of being awake and staring at them through the window or her constant thinking that made her feel so attached to the heavens. Whatever the case, she knew that was her secret place in the sky. She stared at them emotionlessly as they continued to drive. Jordan looked over to her, noticing a distant, glazed look upon Erin’s face. "What do you see?" he asked interested.

"What?" she asked, confused at what he had asked.

"What do you see?" he repeated again more slowly.

"Nothing, just the stars. Remember we don't often see them this bright in the city."

"I don't see what is so great about them... they're just stars. They've never seemed really interesting."

"They are. Each tells their own story, each star is different and special."

"Sounds like a load of BS to me," laughed Jordan. "Each special in their own way, that is good, Erin!"

"What is so funny about what I said?" she asked flabbergasted. She truly meant it. "I meant it! I think you are very insensitive."

Jordan immediately stopped the car. Erin had struck him down hard. No one insulted him. "Get out."

"What?" she said in disbelief.

"Get out!"


He drove quickly off, leaving Erin standing out on a road on a chilly night in the middle of nowhere. She looked up to the stars again. 'I saw a diner a few miles back, maybe they're still open,' she thought. 'And it isn't all bad. I'm getting out. I haven't walked in a while, and at least the stars are out tonight.'

With that, she began the long walk to the diner.

Here Erin was: in the middle of nowhere, cold, and alone. Alone. How did she ever get into an argument with Jordan? They had seemed perfect for each other... where did it all go wrong?

She turned her thoughts away from the subject.

Erin had to get to the diner before it closed. She speeded up her pace, trying to keep warm and trying to get there faster. The quicker she walked, the sooner she would reach the diner and hopefully be able to call her friend to come and get her.


As Erin neared the diner and much to her luck, the diner's neon sign still glowed 'OPEN' in bright pink letters. In smaller letters glowed below the bigger sign glowed, 'OPEN 24 HRS, WE NEVER CLOSE."

Erin pushed the door open surprised to see a sparse group of people there. An old looking waitress came up. "Can I help you, Miss?" she said kindly.

Erin gave a small smile. "Can I get a cup of coffee and a phone call?"

"Phone is in the back and I'll be back with the coffee," replied the old waitress. "In the meantime, find a place to sit and I'll be with you shortly."

Erin nodded and went to the back to the phone. She picked up the phone and dialed her friend's number. Yet all the phone did was ring.

Feeling rather defeated, Erin went to a booth and placed her head and her hands. "Here ya go, child." The coffee was placed in front of her. "If there anything else you need, just give a holler."

"Thank you." The waitress left Erin to her business.

Now, she was truly alone. No one was here to help her. The only one she had "really" loved and left her in this dump. Her parents were dead and her few friends where unreachable. So this is what it meant to be alone, this is the pain that would never end. It could not get any worse.

Yet the night was nowhere near from being over; it was just beginning.


So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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