I don't know who I am. Can you tell me?

[2004-11-09] @ [4:18 p.m.]

Note: this is very random trying to find a common purpose. Thank you.

I hate the fact that I am so dependent on others for my needs. I hate the fact that I depend on my parents for money and I don't have a lousy job yet because I keep talking myself out of it. I hate the fact that I am so lazy half the time and don't step up to take responsiblity for myself when I need to. I hate the fact that I consider myself immature and lousy.

I just wish I could act a bit more my age. I wish my parents would sigh and say that I should start growing up. I wish I could change who I was.

I think I live in my own world too much and not this world known as reality. A lot of the time, I find myself day-dreaming during class. I find myself drifting and not paying attention when someone speaks to me. Maybe I just need a good kick from la-la land and hit face first in the world like Neo did during the first Matrix movie when he tried to make "The Jump."

Maybe I am just thinking and rambling to much. Maybe I am just making crazy talk and I have so many things running through my head and I am trying to get everything out before I lose everything like I did last night (one entry back). I have so many words and sentences running through my head, its unreal.

But to sum it up, it is this. From what I have come to understand lately is I need to be more responsible. Tell me this, am I really that bad of a person?

Just asking...

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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