Why can't I sleep tonight?

[2005-03-10] @ [12:52 a.m.]

There are nights, when I lay in bed that feels like the world in closing in around. I stare lifelessly at the clock on my nightstand; mumbled thoughts of work run rampantly through my head. Did I do that right? Did I shut that off? Is the clock some sort of new scheduling advice?

The thoughts run together randomly, mixed up and jumbled together and my hazy, half-asleep brain tries to assimilate them like a old sponge that already has soaked up too much already. I blink lifelessly and twitch as the thought, Did I schedule something? Did I turn it off? runs through my mind again in an attempt to free myself of it like a cancer. I twist and turn beneath my blue sheets, pulling them and tearing them from their natural order.

Why can't I sleep?

I blearily blink my eyes, sighing heavily as I feel a wave of slight nausea come over and a gut wrenching feeling follows and grows worse every second.

I feel like crap. Why am I worrying? I know did everything right before I left... didn't I? Wait, I know I did. I can remember doing it or are those memories merely creations of my own mind in attempt to force this uneasiness from my mind. Or is this insecurity merely just a creation of my sub-conscious to reflect my nervous personality.

Whatever is causing it, I wish to push it into a deep corner of my mind, leave it there, and never think about it. That would be much easier but alas, this insecurity has me bounded like a prisoner to the chains of reality.

This is a little over done but I started to write this because I really can't sleep but then, it turned into a story/character sketch thing so it is really now a piece of creavitve writing. I really want to sleep.

Thanks for your time.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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