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Why are there flowers blooming in September?

[2007-06-14] @ [7:24 p.m.]

I really don't want this to be taken too personally. It started out as a way to find a solution but turned into a venting, as do most things here it seems. Anyways, on with the show. This is also long. You've been dually warned.

When it comes to thing socially, I think the term that has been used on me is a late bloomer. It seems like that I am slower than others. Like when it comes to relationships, jobs, and money. Stuff that is supposed to follow us and define our person in society for the rest of our lives.

A thing that bothers me with the whole coming of age situation the whole job aspect. Okay, I didn't get my first job till I was 17. I only held that for six months, if not less. I've had two other jobs since then. Minimum wage or waitressing. I am in the process of getting my bachelor's degree in English. Which leads me to wander this: what will tomorrow bring?

I see all these advertisements on the TV for technical schools like ECPI or Everest College or ITT Tech. I work with people at the pub who make that their sole jobs while going to school on the side or who make the pub job secondary while holding another full time job. These two things have one thing in common: stability (either for the present or for the future).

Now about four years ago or so, I had the aspiration of becoming a journalist and moving to New Orleans and making a living off that. Now I'm not really sure. I have an idea. It think it would be nice to perhaps teach literature in higher education. I know I would like to go on to grad school and get my masters and maybe Ph D. Yet those hopeful degrees cost money and how would pay for it? I jokingly tell people I can continue to get loans and go to school forever so I will never have to pay them off. But seriously, society is materialistic and the world runs off money. Kind of a pessimistic view, wouldn't you agree? Anyways, I feel a little left in the dust because I really don't know what I want to do when I get my degree. Many of my peers people I go to school with have a good idea it seems. I can't go through life working minium wage jobs for a few months at a time.

Where was I go with this? The general theme of this entry is me being a late bloomer. I've seemed to have backed myself into a corner with this entry by turning it into one big long rant. Sorry about that.

I want to make changes in my life. I was watching 'Scrubs' today on Comedy Central and one of the things was something like the more time spent wishing is time wasted. Something like that. And I do wish. A lot. It is just I'm not sure where to start. I do know I need to finish my degree but beyond that? Who knows?

Such a long entry of what seems to be full of rambling and ranting.

Cheers.


So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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