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I can twitch! How about you?

[2007-10-16] @ [1:07 p.m.]

I've been on a graphic making craze and found the lovely texture at offbeat_upbeat and used it.

But aside from that. I feel incredibly stupid right now. I've felt like that a lot lately. For instance, sending an email to my client for my web page class from the wrong email address. I use my Gmail account for my school address, my personal, and my business email (particularly relating to my client and web design). But I forgot to change the email address and it was "sent" from my personal account. Something so small and insignificant causes me to feel like a dummy.

I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I am regretting a lot of the things I do like saying a simple comment during a class discussion about Tolstoy and his work "The Death of Ivan Ilych" or when I go to talk to one of my professors about something or even when I am talking to my roommates (even declining to watch a movie in order to do some homework). I am afraid that is it going to come back and bite me in the ass and everything will become screwed up because of it.

Maybe this is just me becoming more paranoid of myself. I am my own worse enemy and I am out to get me.

I don't know. It's just that I am trying really hard this semester to do well in all my class, especially my English classes because I will go nuts if I drop below a B. It is not that I am obsessive (which I am), but the fact that English is the only thing I feel like I have talent for. Whenever I go to talk to one of my professors about my papers it is always the same, I have great ideas, when I write, it has good potential but it is often wordy and needs to be revised. But I can write (and it just needs to revised). I want to be good at what I think I am good at. I know, awkward sentence construction.

I am half way through the semester, I haven't had a lot of graded assignments in my English classes. Most of the finals are actually research papers. Except the web page writing class because that invovles designing a web page for real people and I am trying so hard to make myself seem professional (even though I've never done anything like this before). Faking it till you make it.

Wow. This seems to be a whole lot of seems-like-complaining-and-whining-to-me. It isn't suppose to be by the way. It's me being obsessive (or a perfectionist).

Oh well. Today is Tuesday and that means homework in the afternoon and my first real attempt of making my own chili and hopefully not screwing it up such a simple recipe. Then more homework in the evening. At least I have a story I've been working on and revising since late May (over 20,000 words on the computer version!) and my sketchbook to relax with. And the graphics program. I can't seem to get enough of making icons and wallpaper.

I really need to work now. Seriously. My night classes are over the next two days. Away!

Cheers.


So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage