Who cares what people think!

[2008-02-20] @ [7:36 p.m.]

music: Sarah Bettens - All of This Past

I think one of my biggest fears has to do with people. I really don't have a fear of speaking front of people. I get nervous, really nervous if it's a big deal, but being nervous is normal. I think one of my biggest fears, for as long as I can remember, is what people think of me.

I know it sounds completely absurd. Normally it isn't a big deal all the time. I might get this moment of doubt in the back of my mind if I am talking with a friend about something insignificant sometimes. I do care when I am working and what my boss would think of me. I worry about what professors think of me. I worry what my parents think of me (even though I know they love me). I know it's stupid. I just sent part of my PR project to the group I'm working with to let them know. I really hope they like it because I'm kicking myself in the gut for not waiting to get my final draft back, and even then, I was kicking myself for not sending it out. I drive myself crazy too easily.

*headdesk*

I know with each experience I grow as a person. I keep this as tag line in my emails. Non c'� scelta senza me, il mio destino scelgo. It's a song lyric roughly translated means 'There's no choice without me, I choose my destiny.' I know it sounds stupid but right now, I am mentally kicking myself for sending the public relations project thing out too early. *braindead*

I'm going to read about Dionysus and then just go do a bunch of other reading for classes. I hope I can get over my fear of what people think of me, because most often, it is needless worrying and I could be putting that energy to other uses. Like homework. This time is probably no different.

Cheers.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage

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