Plans. Big plans!

[2009-01-01] @ [8:22 p.m.]

It was windy all day yesterday with a bunch of gusts and even more cold and frigid wind. People lost power in places and I had one heck of a time putting gas in the car. But I kept saying, in jest for the most part, that winds of change were coming, blowing away the tough yet seem to be crappy year of 2008.

Then I fell asleep for a bit on my couch to have my mom wake me up and watch the ball drop in Times Square at midnight. One of my parents made the comment that I also look so, if I can remember, afraid or something to that extent. I dread the New Years I think it was. I remember me awaiting the world to end on Y2K when I was twelve.

I'll be honest. It'll be really cool if I had a crystal ball. It's all shiny and stuff.

But again, I'll be honest. I am going to go on the belief that next year will be tough. Economy sucks right now, I'm going out into the real work world if I don't find myself in a graduate school (and I'll be damned that I won't find myself waiting tables full time with a freaking bachelor's degree if I can help it). Even then, if I do go to grad school, I'll still be holding down a job.

Thing is, it ain't going to be easy. But know what? I'm okay with that. In my secret life is an optimist, I am really excited to see what this year holds. I have all these little personal goals I want to accomplish. Like losing the weight I put on last year gradually through cutting back my snacks and a little more exercise than going to school (two miles daily walking and three miles biking daily). It would be really awesome in my last semester to make Dean's List for the first time ever when I was so close last year, and had my grades dive bomb slightly. It wasn't my job. I just didn't give a shit last semester like I used too. Call it senioritis. After the grade I got on my senior sem paper, I will never lat that happen again. What else? Car. I need a car by August, and I all manage to get my hands on one somehow, legally of course. And getting a job/getting into a grad school would be freaking sweet too.

And lastly, a subject which I really haven't discussed. The love life or the growing possibility for one. I'll admit this. I've never had a boyfriend boyfriend, been in a steady relationship...you get the idea. I've flirted a bit, finding that most guys I flirt with or find attractive seem to be taken, gay, or take it to mean nothing. I digress. But another point is that I've never been fully to open up myself as a person and let someone see me in that type relationship context. But I think this year will be different because I feel like that I've come to the point of throwing out this idea of control and seeing what happens. I know what I want in guy, it's just a matter of finding and clicking.

Sssshhhh. I'm a secret optimist/hopeless romantic even though I am cynical about myself and human nature. It's just a disguise.

2009 is here. I feel like I have a lot of things going for me this year, it's just a matter of me making them happen. So I'm starting this year off on a positive note.

Happy New Year.

Till then, cheers.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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