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Retro(spective).
[2009-12-15] @ [7:59 p.m.]
music Lacuna Coil - Virtual Environment
It all depends on how you look at things.
The old saying, "It's always darkest just before the dawn" or something to that effect is the only thing getting me by tonight and for the next few days.
I've been thoroughly down-trodden all today about my grades. It is very much displeasing. It still bitterly and painfully disappointing. But when I am given moments like this in my short twenty-two years of existence, I've always questioned why. Then I look back on how I can take a dismal experience and learn from it. Or at least make the blow less painful.
In this case? I know I need to go back on my ADD meds to at least help with the situation. I would at least lose that nagging inability to focus, organize and communicate my thoughts. I need to not let myself lose my mind completely because I still have one more chance to make right with the world. Besides how much worse can it get? It has to get better at some point, right?
At least I have time to make amends starting now. I have an appointment set up to get myself back on my medication. I've already ordered my first round of textbooks and I can start reading Shakespeare at least because I foresee that class being the most challenging. I can start now turning my fortune. Now, however, I'm at least on break. I'm rereading The Unbearable Lightness of Being for the possiblity of using it for a seminar paper and the story plot I really loved the first time I read it.
I need to fall back in love with literature and writing again to remember why I chose this path just a few years ago. I miss writing and the genuine joy I got from it since I was eleven. I want to refind that same joy I got reading the classics like Anna Karenina. I want to rediscover my literary geek and become it again. I need to forget the dismal first semester as a grad student and remember that I'm doing this because I love it. I need to find that passion again.
Till then, cheers.
So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy.
This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image
and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.
