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Life as is.

[2010-06-17] @ [7:25 p.m.]

It's been a solid three weeks since I wrote something. That's almost a month and a lot of things can occur during that time. During the past few weeks, I have found a job, been working that job for the past week, and have hit a few bumps in the road. It is all a process. All life is a process. This is just another process.

The job itself is an office as an administrative assistant. I am expected to eventually take over certain duties but until then, my role has been reduced to receptionist and odd jobs around the office. While the job is not difficult, I've had to come out of my shell and project self-confidence I don't believe I have. The money from the job is enough to get by on and save while I live at home with the parents. Yet the experience itself that I receive from this job, I hope, will be enough to carry on with the rest of my life.

As I work, I keep an eye out for something more. I still don't know what I want to do or have the faintest idea of what could make me happy with a job. I'm still nostalgic and wish I could be in grad school. Despite the difficulties and frustrations I faced, I look back with fondness. Getting a M.A. English is still a dream I want to fulfill. In addition, I still dream of being a writer. I try to polish my skills as a word smith and when I feel like I have something worthy, I want to send it to a little magazine and try to get it published.

On a different note, aside from the new job, I miss the valley immensely. I miss living on the big hill and driving to the stoplight at the top of the hill every early morning and see the sunlight dance across the mountains. I miss the town. This picture does the early mornings no justice. I want so badly to go back to the valley.

I feel like I'm living in the past and in doing so, I can't move forward. I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason. Even if I can't understand that reason. There is a grander plan for me that I can't comprehend. Or at least, I hope.

Ah, I've just rambled wistfully. At least tomorrow is Friday.

Till then, cheers.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage