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Ew! You like cheese! Get away from me, freak!

[2005-06-14] @ [12:42 p.m.]

Today was a half day at school for me. I'm still trying to figure out way I decided to come for the first two bells anyways. Mom wrote a note so I could leave early. I can get away with it I guess. But I've been thinking about the realities the differences between telling the truth and those little white lies that people tell just to get by through the day.

I was watching the Discovery Channel once and they were doing a special about lies and I learned that the average person tells at least two white lies a day and usually doesn't realize it.

I guess I can count myself amongst these people because I have lied before, even though minor. Yet it bothers me because I have this really weird or rather annoying characteristic of almost always having to tell the truth because I always feel gulity if I don't. I think it is some kind of a disease or that just means I am a really good person (or at least try to be). I think that this is leading to me to analyzing myself too much and I've been yelled at for doing it.

But really, I use to think there was always something wrong with me, especially when I was a little kid, because I hated to get in trouble and I never took any "real chances" and always played it safe. I still do for the most part. I've always been afraid to let go of the normal and try something completely new even though I sometimes complain I want something new and different. I've always like routine and I think that is why I have stayed pretty much the same for the most part over the four years.

For instance, during my freshman year, I choose to eat lunch alone for two reasons. Those reasons were 1) I couldn't find anyone to eat with and 2)I kind of liked not having any obligatiions to anyone but myself. I guess that last reason makes me sound selfish but that is not what I am aimming at. Like I said yesterday, I ate lunch alone for the most part the past week because I didn't mind it, I actually enjoyed it.

Wow. I talked about truth and lies to change to eating alone. Hm. Quite an entry. I'm tired though and I have felt like crap all day since I got up this morning which means it is nap time. I hope that this diary seems somewhat interesting.


So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

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