Kicking the caffeine?

[2007-09-18] @ [12:03 a.m.]

I'm afraid once I go cold turkey in December from caffeine, it isn't going to be a pretty picture. Four weeks in...roughly around a month and I might as well have an IV of the stuff pumped into me daily. On Saturday, I went home and did not have a single drop of caffeine in any form for the entire day before I caved in the evening having a Diet Pepsi Max because of a pounding headache that lasted the entire day. Not a pretty picture at all.

So, yeah. Kind of addicted to the caffeine a bit more tha usual this semester but I can quit anytime, really.

But the caffeine seems to be a necessary evil because I have trouble staying up, focusing and trying to get work done. This semester I usually can't help getting up at seven in the morning. I can't sleep in to save my life. Last Thursday, I over did it with the caffeine...seriously. For three hours, midnight till about three in the morning, I felt so nauseous and lethargic but at the same time, felt like my skin was going to explode. That usually means you've had too much but I've only had that happen a few times in the two in half years at college.

Caffeine aside, junior year is easily kicking my ass in the way of work. Taking four English classes was smart and taking a Comm class you thought was going to be easy. Ha! Still kicking my ass.

It is difficult to balence between the reading and writing. It is also difficult trying to write when you can't write. I have two papers I'm working on right now, a New Criticism paper for Don Quijote and an interview for my prose writing class. I have some smaller assignments in there that require two page short responses. After writing one assignment, it is really hard to summon the energy to begin on another paper or assignment.

Last year, it got to the point where I didn't even want to write any of my creative stuff like stories or poems. I really don't want that to happen this year but sometimes I can't write even though I want to write. Does that make sense or is it a paradox? Who knows because I certainly don't. Yet sometimes, writing those silly little things, like a fanfic just for fun brings back the creative juices. I just randomly started doing an Underworld fic tonight.

Even though it is close to midnight, even with the caffeine in the system, it feels like I'm running on fumes. I'm tired when I wake up and I'm tired when I go to bed at night (which is eleven at the earliest and usually around a little after midnight on average).

This past summer, I was a night owl because of working the night shift with waitressing at the pub. Then I took a week off before leaving for college which threw me out of whack.

I really need to find a balance...that nirvana. And our library is really crappy.

Till next, time, I'm off to read for some class. A little light reading about Communication theory before heading off to bed soon.

Cheers.

P.S. How to quit a caffeine addiction for those who want to know. A funny little cartoon.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage

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