Not always bright and sunny.

[2008-04-23] @ [8:13 p.m.]

music Lacuna Coil - Falling Again

I was told stop bitching about things this morning. I was told I do this too much. I might agree with this observation sometimes. I was asked don't I have anything good to say.

I do. There are good things to say. I found two four leaf clovers yesterday. That's good. I didn't die nor did anything bad happen to me so to speak. I'm hanging in there even though it is down to the grind.

But seriously, I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately. I'm not going to talk about it though. I've become a Debbie Downer. That sounds weak but cheerful all at once. Anyways, I do have a lot on my mind but I'm holding it in. This usually isn't healthy but I don't want people telling me it isn't a big deal or that I should stop bitching. Just because it may not be important to you doesn't mean it isn't for me. It is all about perspective. I'm just tired of people not to worry about things that may seem unimportant to them. Well, they are right in most cases, but not always. For the record.

So, yeah. I had some other interesting thoughts. I want out of Dodge. I am fine going to grad school at ODU. It's close to home and it isn't too expensive. The program is decent. I would not mind living with the parents while I try to get on my own two feet. For awhile, I was satisfied with just staying in the area for awhile because it is home. But I really don't want that. I don't want to settle for what if. I want to do. Go ahead, laugh it up. I know I'm taking a risk by planning to move to another state and being on my own. Who the hell knows what will happen. I could end up in the middle of North Carolina or Maryland or even Texas or something like that. I don't know. I know though that, at least once, I want to be uprooted from everything I know and try to make on my own. Just once, I want to go to a place where I have no connections and know no one. Like some random city in a state five hours away. I want to make it on my own, at the same time, I want to experience being disconnected from everything. I sound crazy typing that. Who would want to try and make it on your own. Even if it is once. To know. To live. I want to go out and try experience everything I can. I want to hop on a plane day over the pond and wander aimlessly for a few months on my own.

It hurt hearing that because I complain so much, I probably wouldn't be able to handle being in some random place on my own. You never know unless you try.

This long rant/bitching wasn't directed to anyone in particular but I have to let it out somehow. Screaming wouldn't work I suppose. The neighbors might hear since my living room window won't freaking close all the way. Just another thing to do tomorrow. Hopefully it is an easy fix.

I really need to work on my homework. Excuse the excessive ranting and mess until then.

Till later. So it goes.

Cheers.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage

Powered by Goodreads.com