Unproductive.

[2010-04-18] @ [5:30 p.m.]

My allergies only took me out for a day or two. I am still a bit sniffly but hopefully that is all it will be for the next few weeks.

I don't know what it is about this weekend. This past week, I was good with my work ethic. I kept my nose down in my books, went to the library six out of the past seven days, and got to about thirty-five pages of my fifty page goal written between the three seminar papers. Once Saturday came, I eased back, focusing mostly on my reading for this coming week. I tried to get back in routine today aiming to get a good chunk out of my modernism paper typed but no such luck. I fluttered between putting the finishing touches on the second part of another paper. I also have a presentation coming up in Shakespeare. My last week of classes consists of presentations of smaller papers and that Shakespeare presentation. I hope to have everything written, in some coherent form by next Saturday.

I don't know what it is with me. I have much more at stake than the others in my program. I've been going strong for the most part all semester. What's to keep this momentum going till the very end?

My mom says I should stop complaining because this is what I signed up for. I knew what I was getting myself into. I feel like I've been working twice as hard in contrast to the others because this doesn't come easy to me. I just feel tired. I've been keeping up with everything these past few weeks and I'm having trouble finding that last bit to push through until the end. If I spend one day not writing, the day feels wasted, even if I work on my other assignments.

I've come too far to become lazy on this. I've gone through too much. With the daunting deadlines, I feel like I am walking a tightrope with angry platypuses on one side and feral rabbits on the other. The animals don't make any sense, do they? That's the point. I feel like I'm letting myself wandered towards the absurd. Again.

I best get back to work.

Till then, cheers.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage

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