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I told you to stop using those things [brains]!
[2008-02-19] @ [9:11 p.m.]
music: Lacuna Coil - Entwined
When I was in seventh grade, my English teacher used to make us memorize a poem a week and we would have to recite it for a grade. I remember a particular poem. It was by Rudyard Kipling's If. I remember my teacher saying something about four particular lines of the poem she recited to herself while running a marathon. It was
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
During physical fitness testing in Physical Education, we would have to run a mile twice a year. Mind you, I suck at running and unless someone was chasing after me to kill me, I really can't run. But I remember repeating that to myself when I was running, trying to get a decent time. It helped and was encouraging. I just I was I could recite it at the snap of my finger right now but I think about it.
I thought about it again today. I think I have this point at least once in the semester. It usually isn't until a few more weeks when I can comfortably say its the middle of semester but this spring it feels a bit early. You get to that point where you wonder how you keep doing it, dealing with the same routine. I had a point where I was afraid to make a mistake in the slightest way; if I did, then the world would come to an end. I doubt myself easily, but I know I will get through it because I've done it before.
All this has happened before, all this will happen again. I actually got that from the new Battlestar Galactica and even then, that may have come from somewhere else. Cyclic time. A circle that repeats and that is all it does, no end or beginning. It would be comforting to think of life like this. Reading Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, the Tralfamadorians tell Billy Pilgrim that life is merely made up as a series of moments and things will be what they will be and you can't change the future. It is a very cynical outlook on life if you think about it, but it does have to do with cyclic time.
A friend of mine just recommended throwing myself into my work because that is the thing to do. Do the work and move on to the new work. There is nothing in between. Maybe that is what there is to it all. Public Relations is proving the most difficult and challenging of all my classes; I'm hoping in the end though that this class will ultimately help me grow more a person rather than job experience. It is difficult but life is sometimes and we get through it. Maybe I just need to stop thinking and actually do instead, trying something different.
I know I'll get through it but I am so looking forward to Spring Break in three weeks. I just need to ramble a bit and remember those four lines of that poem.
Cheers.
So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy.
This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image
and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.
