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A drunk clown hurt me once.
[2008-06-03] @ [9:36 p.m.]
music Aiden - The Last Sunrise
A few weeks back, I was on the job hunt looking for somewhere to give me a chance for the summer. I went into Barnes and Noble that day, just to look around and resist the urge of buying a book. I came across this book called The Joke by Milan Kundera. I read one of Kundera's novels this past semester. I picked it up and flipped to a random section:
Fatigue. Suddenly I wanted to say good-bye to it all. To go away and stop worrying. I have no wish to remain in this world of material things that I don't understand, that deceive me. There still exists another world. A world which I am at home and with which I am familiar. [...] But in the end I took hold of myself. I must. I must take my quarrel with the world of material things to its conclusion. I must look into the very abyss of all errors and deceptions. (Kundera 279)
I don't think it means death or something else quite so gloomy. Mind you I still have yet to read the book, but I think the deeper context is critiquing the superfluous-ness of the material world (i.e. the importance of money) but finding the spirit and will each day to carry on and live.
When I read that, I was bitter to say the least. I had nothing but rotten luck up to that point in the job hunt. No one even wanted me to give me the time of day. But I read that by chance and it gave me the little boost to continue with the endless strings of applications. Sooner then I knew, I got my current job. The power of literature inspires thee!
Which leads me to say that today was the first day on the job. Needless to say it was a good day. I enjoyed myself. It feels good to be back in this routine. Even though it is serving like I did last summer, it is employment. It gives purpose it makes me feel better than when I'm just laying around at home. And I'm getting paid so I have some sort of income now, which makes me feel good, even if it is bi-weekly instead of getting tips every night. The gratification is still there. Now all I need is to figure out how to balance this second job and work out a schedule for everything. If I can get that down, things would be golden.
I really don't have much to report on. It is way too hot here and I really hope it storms tonight so I can watch it from my windows in bed when I sleep tonight. That would be cool.
Till then. So it goes.
Cheers.
So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy.
This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image
and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.
