2010 (twenty-ten). Looks like a funny year.

[2010-01-01] @ [8:12 p.m.]

music Lacuna Coil - The Last Goodbye

Oh, 2009, you devil. We had some good times didn't we? You gave my bachelors degree in English. I got into grad school didn't I? Nothing bad happened to me or my family. The only thing I have to complain about is the uncertain note you left me with the bad grades and academic prohibition my first semester. The end of 2009 felt shaky as I watched the ball drop on tv last night welcoming 2010.

Ah, 2010, you should feel welcomed. You have so much potential, not just as a year, but as a start of a new decade.

What about myself? I feel uncertain welcoming the new semester that starts in a week because the next four months feel so important to what will happen next. While I welcome 2010 with open arms, I feel still feel the uncertainty 2009 left me in. Damn you, 2009 for leaving me on such a note. This brings me to resolutions. What exactly am I going to do about them?

Let me be honest, I was never good with resolutions. I've never really kept personal resolutions as much I as tried for the life of me. Instead of resolutions, the word just sounds so linear, how about goals? New Year's Goals? Let that roll off your tongue for a moment. Sounds a lot nicer, doesn't it?

So my personal New Year's Goals. The idea itself seems vast. Limitless. So, what are these goals exactly? Try to make myself happy. Right now, after December I find myself at odds. What makes me happy? I love grad school but after last semester I'm feeling a bit lost to why I did it in the first place. I love writing and reading, I love exploring literature, I love being able to create something out of nothing through words. The most I have in way of resolutions goals is to remind myself of why writing and reading made me happy five years ago and onwards to decide on this path where I find myself at twenty-two.

During my senior year of high school, I kept this gray composition Five Star notebook that is riddled with pen scribblings of poems, blurbs, parts of stories and ideas, doodles, and quotes that is being held by a piece of gray duck tape going down the spine of the notebook. I reread that notebook as a personal piece of history as a writer and of my life that manifests my passion for writing, reading-- whatever, to essentially create and write. That tattered notebook is one of many reasons why I choose to be in grad school today. I bought a new notebook tonight at Barnes and Noble and I am going to try and keep up through 2010 doing the same thing as I did with that gray notebook. Maybe this little experiment will help with next semester and serve as a reminder to my love for writing and literature when the semester grows tough.

I wait for 2010 to begin in full force with baited breath. Regardless of the year, it's a new decade. Hopefully the decade itself will result in some amazing things. For instance, falling in love and evolving into a serious relationship with a man? Or, a favorite personal goal, going to London by myself before I'm twenty-five. None of those things have to happen this year per-say but within the next decade would be nice.

However, 2010 is here to stay and so is the one in the year. I need to get into the habit of writing a one in the year and it'll probably take a month. Tomorrow is the second day of 2010. I'm going to see my best friend Kristina tomorrow. This is sure to be a treat as 2010 can only get better.

Till then, cheers. And Happy New Year to everyone.

So, quick thanks for the image from confusedvision, under the Creative Commons License 2.0. The inspiration came from Lacuna Coil, an awesome gothic metal band from Italy. This place on the web is fueled by diaryland, firefox, psp 9, caffeine in any form, books, slavic literature, and random bursts of ideas. With the exception of the image and lyrics, the design and code involved is mine. Graize.

kelly's currently-reading book montage

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